Battlebots Take Over Where The NFL Disappoints

I didn’t watch a single game of NFL football last weekend, and I probably won’t watch again next weekend either.

I seem to have found a replacement for the rock-em, sock-em NFL. It’s the rock-em, sock-em Battlebots show on the Science Channel.

The battlebots give me all the excitement I used to have in NFL football. The bots attack with a ferocity. Pieces fly off. They overturn, their weapons malfunction. When they are rendered unconscious (that is, they’re unable to move any more) they are counted out as in a heavyweight fight.

It’s great fun, actually. The bots have neat names, like Tombstone, Bronco and Witch Doctor. Before they go head-to-head in the arena, you kind of figure out which one will probably win, but you never know for sure.

That’s why they play the game, of course. Sometimes the favorite is destroyed, and sometimes spectacularly.

It takes a lot for me to dismiss NFL football, but I can thank the NFL players themselves for bursting my interest like a gum bubble. Look, if they want to kneel during the national anthem and the league is OK with that, then fine. I’m not required to like it, and I don’t have to deal with it if I don’t want to.

When the NFL becomes a football league again, let me know.

Well, enough of my editorial commentary. I really don’t mean to. In fact, by turning off the NFL I’m not protesting anything at all. I’m not trying to make a statement. I just don’t much care about it any more.

Same reason, I suppose, I no longer watch late night television talk shows. It used to be that you could tune in to Johnny Carson or Jay Leno and be genuinely entertained. Today the hosts have forgotten what constitutes a good joke. They’d rather spend their time engaging in nasty political mud-slinging.

But fine. Nobody forces me to watch.

The good news is this: I’m reasonably confident that Battlebots will never be taken over by politics. There’s still something in this world that you can count on.