It Could Happen, Couldn’t It?

I am pleased and honored to announce a few changes coming soon to the Daily Globe newsroom. The changes involve several of us, and obviously will require some adjustments on the part of our readers.
The changes begin at the top. Managing editor Ryan McGaughey will be picking up stakes with his family and moving back to New York State, where he originated from, and starting in mid-April he will assume his new position as a member of the New York Times editorial board. We will miss Ryan greatly, but we believe he will deliver some important and passionate opinion pieces regarding the national political scene — enhanced, of course, by the expertise he developed while plying his ample journalistic skills here in the Midwest.
Features editor Beth Rickers will be leaving, too, joining Barbara Walters and crew on the popular ABC news and commentary show, “The View.” We wish Beth all the success in the world and only ask that she not forget the little people she met along the way. Senior reporter Julie Buntjer is leaving to work for the Minnesota State Fair. It’s a full-time job lining up concessions and exhibits for the Fair, and Julie plans to go above and beyond the call of duty to actually judge some of the 4H events, as well. Finally, our community content coordinator, Aaron Hagen, will be leaving to join ESPN NFL draft experts Mel Kiper and Todd McShay where he will annually share his personal thoughts on the best and worst college athletes angling for multi-million dollar contracts. Aaron, of course, was one of the few people in America to correctly predict that Minnesota Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder would be a bust, and — go figure — certifiable draft gurus don’t come along every day.
I also have some personal news to announce. As many of you know, it has been a lifelong dream of mine to play shortstop for a major league baseball team, and … well … the other day I got a call from Detroit Tigers manager Brad Ausmus. As you may be aware, the Tigers’ regular shortstop, Jose Iglesias, is likely to miss the entire season due to injury, and the team has been scrambling to find a suitable replacement for the past several weeks.
Mr. Ausmus explained to me that the search for a replacement has been less than satisfactory. And even though I am now 57 years old, he believes I may be able to play the position at least as well as the players he now has on his roster. He wants me to try out for the team.
Well that’s pretty much all the news I have for now. I realize, of course, that the calendar date today is April 1. I just want you to know that just because this is “April Fool’s Day,” that doesn’t mean everything you just read isn’t true. All these things could indeed occur just as I have said.
In an alternate universe.
OK, I can’t conclude this blog without admitting something that actually (Scout’s honor!) happened to me when I was 11, maybe 12 years old and growing up in my little northwest Iowa town of Allendorf. An older friend of mine, Dick Oldenkamp, handed me a copy of the latest Sibley Gazette, and right on the front page was a screaming article announcing that Sibley, Iowa, had been approved for a new major league expansion team.
I swallowed the story hook, line and sinker. I thought to myself, “Why not? It’s a major league team just six miles away! If people will go to Minneapolis and Kansas City to watch major league baseball, why wouldn’t they also go to Sibley?” I believe I even wondered out loud if I could get a job as a bat boy.
When Dick reminded me what day it was — April 1 — my level of embarrassment reached into the stratosphere.
Ever since, I’ve been extra skeptical of anything I’ve ever been told. Maybe that’s why I got into the news business.
Happy April Fools Day, everyone.